Tinder, Bumble, Hinge – using dating apps to find a partner for life has become normal. But these tools also increase the pressure on singles, warns therapist Schweiger.
Tinder, OkCupid, Bumble, Hinge, and many similar portals have long dominated flirting and dating culture—and are frustrating more and more people. Johanna and Eugen are no exception.Their last online date was going wonderfully until she suggested meeting in a park. “He ended the contact, saying he wasn’t a park person and that things would never work out between us,” says the 35-year-old, whose real name is different, still puzzled. The typical life cycle of an online flirt eventually became so frustrating that she quit using her apps.
Eugen, also using a pseudonym, has also deleted all his apps. “People put on a lot of show online, maybe I do too. Everyone wants to be contacted, but they don’t respond or agree to meet up,” says the 42-year-old. From the perspective of psychotherapist Vera Schweigert, there are five reasons why
dating apps are unnecessary:
1. Online searches can increase psychological pressure
Those who, like Johanna and Eugen, have experienced too many times how anticipation turns into disappointment when online dating can feel “enormous psychological pressure,” according to psychotherapist Vera Schweiger. “Often, many hopes are tied to the apps. But then you’re judged, suddenly ignored.”
If you already have a fear of rejection due to past experiences or self-esteem issues, this can confirm such fears.“
Vera Schweiger, psychotherapist
2. Chances of success with dating apps are rather low
In addition, the search for a partner can only be optimized to a limited extent. Even revising your online dating profile countless times won’t bring you the
perfect match . “Anyone who embarks on this process should be aware that it can be a long, strenuous journey that won’t necessarily be crowned with success,” says Schweiger.A bit like winning the lottery, you can experience instant luck – or never get the right numbers. This is another reason Schweiger advises not to give apps too much space. “I often see in my counseling that people go on more and more dates and neglect the things that already fulfill their lives – hobbies, friends, family.
It’s easier to deal with rejection when I experience success in other areas of life, such as a nice evening with friends.”
3. Online dating is time-consuming
For Rike, who also doesn’t want to use her real name, this was a reason not to install a dating app in the first place. “When friends and colleagues tell me about their experiences there, I think: Five dates a week? That’s work.””Generally, I need to see, hear, and feel people to develop a feeling,” says the 45-year-old. “For example, I don’t order clothes online.”
4. Hoping for your dream partner is not good
The seemingly endless array of potential partners online can tempt you to postpone your own goals and desires. The dream trip to Thailand? The dance class? Going it alone is stupid. “Thoughts like these are linked to the idea: Once he or she arrives, my life will be completely different.”
It makes much more sense to focus on the present rather than the distant future. I’m single right now, yes, but how do I use this time for myself?“
Vera Schweiger, psychotherapist
5. Some develop fear of rejection
People who stop swiping aren’t giving up on the search for a partner. Perhaps they’ve simply realized how fulfilling their lives already are—and that there are certainly other ways to meet people.
For Rike, an encounter at a dance led to a relationship. Johanna also met all of her recent “affairs,” as she calls them, offline: “in bars, at work, or on vacation—the classic way.”Of course, Tinder and all the others can definitely enrich one’s life, says psychotherapist Schweiger. You get to meet new people and experience wonderful things.
But if you notice that they are not good for you, that you are falling into behavioral patterns that you don’t feel comfortable with, or that you have developed a fear of rejection, then you just turn off the apps for the time being.
is an American author, blogger, and cybersecurity specialist based in Florida. He developed an interest in writing during his school years, which later led him to create content aimed at raising awareness about various forms of online scams, particularly in the world of online dating.
On his platform, Scam Service Report, Hall shares analytical articles and practical advice to help users recognize and avoid traps set by scammers on dating websites. He describes common scam scenarios in detail—such as quick declarations of love, urgent requests for money transfers, refusal to engage in video chats, and attempts to move conversations off the dating platform.
