Virtual dating: What options are there?

Dating sites, matchmaking services, singles exchanges – there are many ways to find a partner online. We explain exactly what distinguishes them and what you should look out for.

The most important things in brief:

• Dating agencies provide you with specific partner suggestions, which are selected based on your personal information and search criteria.
• With dating sites, you actively search for people you would like to get to know on a portal. 
• Important: Different rules apply to notice periods for dating agencies and singles exchanges.

Single people are increasingly turning to online dating portals and dating sites in search of contact or a relationship. The internet is becoming increasingly popular as a place for couples to meet and fall in love. Targeted partner searches in a global world—initially protected and from the comfort of their own home—are seen by many as an advantage of virtual dating. However, creating your own profile and searching based on predefined criteria are no guarantee that you will actually find the right partner. Often, instead of finding your dream man or woman, dating sites only offer disappointment and the loss of money.

But first, let’s differentiate: Terms like dating agencies, dating sites, and singles exchanges are often used synonymously online. Below, we’ll explain the differences and show you what to look for when searching for a partner online.

What are dating and contact exchanges?

With so-called dating sites, a provider simply provides the platform where those seeking a partner can enter their profile. Uploading personal information and photos is usually free. Fees only apply when users become active and sign up for a premium membership to contact other members.

Chatting and flirting abound on dating sites. But be careful: Not everyone who uses a dating site is looking for a long-term relationship. To avoid unpleasant surprises, you should only reveal your full name and phone number once you’ve established trust with your virtual counterpart. You’ll be on the safe side if you use a dedicated email address for online dating, which you can delete later .

What are dating agencies?

Dating agencies take the hassle out of finding a suitable partner. To begin, you fill out a comprehensive questionnaire about yourself, your personal views, and your desires. You decide what information you want to share.

Based on the profile you’ve created, the virtual dating agency will then send you suitable suggestions via email. You then have control over whether and how you want to use the partner suggestions. 

But even this method doesn’t necessarily guarantee love at first click: If the personal information doesn’t match, many lonely hearts fall through the cracks right from the start. Also, keep in mind: Users often present an idealized image of themselves in their profiles, but some contacts later turn out to be bad luck. If you let an online dating agency send you partner suggestions over a longer period of time, online dating can be quite expensive.

What are comparison portals for dating and singles exchanges?

Online comparison portals offer their help in finding a suitable dating site for you. However, instead of bringing you great happiness, such ranking services, which advertise the “best dating sites” or “tested dating agencies,” often mislead those looking to flirt, causing disillusionment, disappointment, and high costs.

Even a dating site with top ratings offers no guarantee that you won’t fall for embellished profiles and false promises when looking for a partner, for which you often have to pay a high price. The testing procedures and recommendations of comparison portals are neither transparent nor incorruptible. Their recommendations are usually based on the commissions that dating services willingly pay for a supposedly good online test result.

Comparison portals provide an overview of services and aren’t stingy with top ratings. However, the criteria used for evaluation aren’t clear. It’s also striking that even the lowest-ranked services generally receive only positive reviews. Many comparison portals are primarily interested in their users signing a contract with a dating site because they then receive a commission. Therefore, negative comments about dating sites have no place in the lower ranks of their portal.

Healthy mistrust – tips for virtual dating

• Don’t be fooled by generally positive reviews and prominently displayed top ratings on comparison portals. If comparison portals provide criteria in the form of test reports, it’s also important to know the source of the tests and who wrote them.
• To avoid getting involved with a dubious service from the outset, you should check whether the name, address, telephone number and a responsible person are mentioned on the website before registering or entering into a contract.
• You should also read the fine print ( the general terms and conditions ) carefully. For example, make sure that the provider is not permitted to share personal data with third parties, for example, for advertising purposes, without your express consent. 
• A healthy dose of suspicion is helpful to avoid falling for fake identities. Attempts to contact someone using expensive 0900 numbers should always be avoided.

Different termination options

To terminate a contractual relationship, you must adhere to certain notice periods . Termination without notice is usually only possible for specific reasons . However, with dating agency contracts, it’s not easy to state and then prove reasons for termination. Whether the suggested partner has a nose that’s too long or their behavior wasn’t what you expected, the possible reasons can be deeply personal. Therefore, it makes sense to seek a right to terminate with immediate effect and without the need to state reasons. 

Section 627 of the German Civil Code (BGB) grants such an extraordinary right of termination . Accordingly, so-called “service contracts,” which require a special relationship of trust between the contracting parties, can be terminated at any time with immediate effect and without giving reasons. This applies, for example, to contracts with doctors, lawyers, or tax consultants, but according to the case law of the Federal Court of Justice, also to contracts with dating agencies.

This is also the case if the dating agency’s general terms and conditions (GTC) state that such a right of termination should not exist. The right of extraordinary termination (Section 627 of the German Civil Code) cannot be excluded by a provision in the small print .

1. Right of extraordinary termination for online dating portals

   . As a general rule , there is no right of extraordinary termination for online dating portals  . The special relationship of trust required for the right of extraordinary termination does not exist if the platform merely offers the use of a platform on which profiles can be posted and the profiles of other users can be viewed.
    

2. Extraordinary right of termination for online dating agencies.

   The legal situation is somewhat different for online dating agencies, however – the courts are divided on this point: 
   According to some courts, the necessary special trust exists in online dating agencies when additional services – such as partner suggestions or personality tests – are offered, for which the user provides information about themselves and their desired partner. For example, the Tempelhof-Kreuzberg District Court (judgment of September 1, 2015, case number 13 C 168/15), the Bremen District Court (judgment of July 3, 2013, case number 23 C 0106/13), and the Traunstein Regional Court (judgment of April 10, 2014, case number 1 S 3750/13) have ruled this way. 

   Other courts, however, take the view that the provision of highly personal data is not sufficient to establish a special relationship of trust. For this to happen, the information provided by users would have to be personally evaluated by employees, and partner suggestions would not simply be determined by an algorithm. This was the case with the Hamburg District Court (judgment of April 6, 2017, case no. 25b C 383/16), the Potsdam District Court (judgment of February 9, 2016, case no. 38 C 32/15), and the Bonn District Court (judgment of September 22, 2011, case no. 104 C 256/11).

   According to the Schöneberg District Court, it is irrelevant whether customers have personal contact with dating agency employees. What is crucial is that they disclose confidential information to which the dating agency employees also have access. Only then does a right of extraordinary termination exist (judgment of January 27, 2010, case no. 104a C 413/09 ). 

   This view is convincing. For consumers, it makes no difference whether the partner suggestions sent to them were based on a comparison by employees or with the help of a computer. What matters is the special trust the seekers place in the dating agency. This is expressed by their willingness to disclose highly personal details as part of the personality test. Therefore, there is good reason to affirm the existence of a special relationship of trust and thus an extraordinary right of termination in online dating agencies. 

However, there is currently no clarification of this question by the highest court, so there is always a certain risk as to whether the respective court will affirm the conditions for the right of extraordinary termination.

Detect false seals and fake profiles

In the linked article you can find out which portals fake profiles often flirt on and which common phrases can indicate fake profiles.

Many dating agencies also advertise themselves online with seals. However, many are outdated or simply self-assigned. Here are five tips for dealing with seals on websites.